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England seems small
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Huge American tourist with wife the size of Oklahoma: 'Could you tell me where Big Ben is?'
Local lad: (Points straight ahead) 'It is just there'
American: (Disappointed) 'Oh... we thought it would be big' |
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Overheard by bellomatic, Westminster Square
posted Thursday, 15th February 2007 |
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Fun with the flower vendor
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Man: 'I'm not sure what I want'
Flower vendor: 'How about a lovely big pair of bristols in your face?'
Man: 'Oh, I don't know about that. I'm not sure what my boyfriend would say'
Vendor: 'I thought as much, sir' |
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Overheard by bellomatic, Hammersmith tube flower stall.
posted Thursday, 15th February 2007 |
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Mans dem
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1st boy: 'Yeah, we went to Muswell Hill, then we saw Mans dem'
2nd boy: 'What mans?'
1st boy: 'Mans'
2nd boy: 'What mans?'
1st boy: 'mans dem'
2nd boy: 'What mans dem ? Now getting slightly annoyed'
1st boy: 'I don't know, just mans, we had to sneak past KFC then down the hill'
2nd boy: 'Oh!' |
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Overheard by steven, W3 Bus from Finsbury Park
posted Saturday, 10th February 2007 |
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Well Butters
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'He's running after that egg head girl'
'Why, is she well butters?'
'Yeah probably' |
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Overheard by steven, 41 Bus stop crouch end
posted Saturday, 10th February 2007 |
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Monkey people
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Weird group holding a scientific debate on the tube of all places
'Of course, there is that theory that the people of Australia are the last remaining Neanderthals'
Yes, he was completely serious |
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Overheard by Paul, Central Line
posted Friday, 09th February 2007 |
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Bus Stop Conversations
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Two old boys standing at a bus stop.
One says to the other 'It's that cold, me bum's gone to sleep'
2nd guy replies 'Yea, I know, I heard it snore twice!!!' |
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Overheard by PJ, Bus Stop at Marble Arch
posted Thursday, 08th February 2007 |
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You'd think that round here they'd know better...
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Wine department of Waitrose, King's Road...
Young woman: 'So what's this rose stuff like then?'
Young man: 'Well it's just red and white mixed together, innit'
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Overheard by Sim, Waitrose, King's Road
posted Tuesday, 06th February 2007 |
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Creepy
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Northern Line train stuck near Camden. Darkness. Awkward silence. After minutes the drivers attempts to reassure his passengers: "This is the driver speaking... or is it?" |
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Overheard by Mark, Northern Line near Camden
posted Tuesday, 06th February 2007 |
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My best friends girl
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Guy#1: 'Hey mate check out the hot blonde at 2 O'Clock'
Guy#2: 'No way man.........I know her!'
Guy#1: 'Really?'
Guy#2: 'Yeah, she's my best friends girl but she used to be mine'
Guy#1 'Isn't that a song?' |
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Overheard by Bill, Farrington station
posted Friday, 02nd February 2007 |
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Salty or not?
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In my bar (I am a Bartender)
Male customer to female partner: 'Do you fancy something to nibble?'
She: 'Oh I don't know, Nuts perhaps'
(I am so glad that wasn't said in my local Gay Bar) |
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Overheard by Easysteve, In my bar
posted Friday, 02nd February 2007 |
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