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That's a bit harsh innt?
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Overheard in advice centre
Elderly West Indian: "I need to get a passport but I've never had one. I was born in Jamaica and I'm not sure if I can get for one"?
Receptionist: "You have to have been Neutralised to get a passport" |
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Overheard by DEmon, Hackney
posted Thursday, 29th May 2008 |
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Crab lunch
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A boy and a girl sitting together at a cafe I walked past and heard the boy say to girl irrated.
"Don't have a go at me, I'm not the one that gave you crabs." |
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Overheard by Stina, Cafe
posted Tuesday, 27th May 2008 |
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First World Problems
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First Man: "Its like there's no fate anymore, there is just Television."
Second Man: "Yeah, man we are total slaves."
First Man: "They call it Television, but its really Tell LIE vision."
Second Man: "Woaah man, thats totally right."
First Man: "yeah..."
Second Man: "They want to make us flat like the flat screen TV's" |
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Overheard by Stina O, Two strangers on the bus to Hoxton discussing first world problems
posted Monday, 26th May 2008 |
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And he gets to travel....
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At a very pretentious party that I had taken a friend to. Were money job and status meant everything (which my friend was very aware of). I introduced a Donna Karen clad female aquaintance to a rather good looking male friend of mine.
Me "Hello Jacquie, How are you? This is my friend Jonathan".
Jacqui: "Hello Jonathan, nice to meet you. And what do you do"?
Jonathan: "I'm a seal culler"
Jacqui: (In disgust) "REALLY"?
Jonathan: "Well someones got to do it and the pays good"
The look on her face was just priceless...........
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Overheard by easysteve, A prententious party
posted Thursday, 22nd May 2008 |
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Young love
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A young couple get on the tube, having a fight about something or other.
The man picks up a copy of a free paper.
The girl asks "What are you doing?"
He replies "Looking for your replacement in the personal ads" |
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Overheard by Anonymous, Central Line
posted Tuesday, 20th May 2008 |
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Beggars can be choosers
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Homeless Guy: "Got any spare change mate"
Bloke: "Nah sorry mate, you can have a ciggie though"
Homeless Guy: "Ah cheers bruv"
Bloke: "Gets pack out to hand him one"
Homeless Guy: "Don't worry about it I dont smoke mayfair" |
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Overheard by Chriztopher, Outside Floridita, Wardour Street
posted Tuesday, 13th May 2008 |
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Evolution?
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Girl 1 (suddenly) "Why don't they just drain Loch Ness?"
Friend (stunned silence) "I'm sorry - what?"
Girl 1 "Well if they really want to see if there is a Loch Ness Monster why don't they just drain it?"
Friend "Are you actually saying these words to me?!" |
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Overheard by Nic, Beer Garden, pub in Victoria Park.
posted Tuesday, 13th May 2008 |
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Men with beards
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In the middle of the open day at Acton Town tube depot:
Wife 1: "Aren't you going to look for your husband?"
Wife 2: "Good God no, there are far too many men in here with beards & pullovers, he can come and find me!" |
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Overheard by Jon, Acton Town tube depot open day
posted Monday, 12th May 2008 |
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Double face palm
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Head of operations: "Will the release on Monday require the website to go down at all?"
Head of IT: "No, it's a minor release and requires no downtime."
Lead Developer: "Yes it will, we can't have people half way through a process while we run the update scripts."
Head of IT: "Oh" double face palm*
Head of operations: "Okey-Dokey!" |
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Overheard by Anonymous, 9:30 team meeting
posted Friday, 09th May 2008 |
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