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Overhear
somthing?
You
tell us and we’ll
tell London! |
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It's busy, no lie
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Tube worker on the platform:
"Please make your way along the carriages horizontally to make room for other passengers to get on. (Short pause) This is just a figure of speech. You don't need to lie down. Thank you"
General chuckles all around. |
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Overheard by Nicky, morning rush hour on the Northern line at Kings Cross
posted Monday, 30th June 2008 |
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Bad day for the Yank
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Two American women chatting..
Younger: "So how's she doing now?"
Older, mom like woman: "Not so good. She got fired, her last skin suspension failed, she broke up with her boyfriend and then, to make matters worse, her favorite rat died." Pauses "Does this tattoo make me look hard?" |
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Overheard by Anonymous, Jubilee line around Swiss Cottage
posted Sunday, 29th June 2008 |
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What they're teaching our kids
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'Dolphins breathe out of an asshole on the top of their heads' Overheard from a kid telling their mother what they'd learnt at school that day. |
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Overheard by Lucky, E London
posted Friday, 27th June 2008 |
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Shit allergy
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Two guys walking on the pavement, one saying to the other: "He's allergic to shit!..." I didn't get the bit about whether it was from contact or ingestion. |
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Overheard by Francois, along Clapham South side
posted Wednesday, 25th June 2008 |
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Those Americans are Crazy
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Drunk American girl to her friend:
"Don't get mad at me just because you tried to stick your tongue down your Dad's throat." |
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Overheard by Jerry, On the tube
posted Wednesday, 25th June 2008 |
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Bloody mess
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Two blokes on the tube were talking about a shag that one of them had had recently:
Guy 1: "...so she bit me right on the fucking chest!"
Guy 2: "Fuck! What a crazy bitch. Didn't it hurt?"
Guy 1: "Fuckin caned mate. Bit of blood came out and everything."
Guy 2: "Fuck, that's raw!"
Guy 1: "You know it mate, what if I'd caught Hepatitus or something?"
Guy 2: "You can't get Hepatitus like that man."
Guy 1: "Yeah true. If anyone was gonna get it, it'd be her." |
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Overheard by Nav, On the Bakerloo Line going to Elephant & Castle
posted Tuesday, 24th June 2008 |
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Keemosabi
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A couple of IT bods having a brunch meeting on the table behind me and one says to the other...
"Listen, Keemosabi bust his ass to get here and I'm just not getting any same-o same-o!!"
That was just minutes after the same person stated that he was "mildly tempted" to have another sausage in his sandwich.
I don't understand. |
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Overheard by umajor, In the company restaurant - Global Fund Management Company
posted Monday, 23rd June 2008 |
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How the other half live
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I'm scared, it's all Chav people round here. They have no money, nothing. I mean, look at the clothes they have, it's relative deprivation. It's so weird that so close is Canary Wharf with Karen Millen and the like, and here everyone has 'Danny and Gabanna' or 'Nick: just did it'...Gosh, how the other half live! |
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Overheard by Anonymous, Asda, Crossharbor
posted Sunday, 22nd June 2008 |
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An interesting hobby or part-time job?
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Guy on the table next to us talking to his date: "...and then after work he sorts out mens erectile disfunction." |
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Overheard by Sam, A Greek restaurant in Bayswater
posted Wednesday, 18th June 2008 |
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There's fruit, too
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Overheard on the Bakerloo line underground. One suit opens a bag...
Suit1: 'What's that?'
Suit2: 'Watercress'
Suit1: 'F**k off, that's a vegetable!'
Suit2: 'Your teacher will be very happy'
Suit1: 'But it's a f**king vegetable!'
Suit2: 'Indeed' |
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Overheard by Anonymous, Pulling out of Baker street station
posted Monday, 16th June 2008 |
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